Is Body Image Poignant Your Sexual Life?

Body image can really mess with our heads. For heterosexual women, the way they see their bodies can have a great impact on their feelings of sexual desire and their ability to get excited. Men may also suffer feelings of bodily self-awareness, but it often does not interfere with their sexual function as much as with women. In fact, according to research (and as I have seen in my practice), together with the anguish of relationship, negative body image is one of the biggest disruptors of sexual enjoyment, desire and responsiveness in women.

There are two types of body image problems that affect a woman sexually: what she thinks about herself and what she thinks her partner thinks about her body.

How she sees herself: if a woman feels that her body is not attractive, this leads to low sexual self-esteem, which often prevents sexual activity. Once an area of ​​the sexual cycle is interrupted, several areas of the sexual cycle are often interrupted: desire, arousal and orgasm. The more you critically see your body, the more anxiety you will feel for being seen and touched, and you will be less able to lose yourself in the moment and get excited. Specific concerns about your body, such as concern about the size of your body parts or your weight (the most frequent female measure rule) are the strongest predictors of orgasm problems.

How do you think others see it: if a woman thinks that her partner (or other potential partners) finds her attractive, her sexual functioning will be greater. However, if you believe, regardless of the truth, that others see your body with a negative light, your desire will be interrupted and your ability to get excited. For example, in menopause, although hormones are part of the explanation for loss of libido, a woman’s sense of convenience may also be a factor. Older women complain about not turning men’s heads and often feel deflated about their attractiveness, resulting in a decrease in libido. That feeling is your subjective excitement. The researcher carol says that for women, “to be desired is orgasm.”

To address body image problems and return to the track sexually, there are some things you can try:

Believe in your partner! Many men say they are frustrated because they find their partner infinitely sexy and yet she does not think the same about her body and therefore rejects it.

Decrease the negative internal dialogue before and during sex. When you hear those thoughts, remember that you have the right to sexual pleasure and that sex will bring more closeness and ties with your partner.

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is being without prejudice. For a few minutes every day, practicing being in the now; Observe the thoughts that arise without accepting them as true. Don’t let yourself judge the feeling or the thought, just let it reside in your mind and be curious about it. When we question our thoughts and feelings, We learn that they are only thoughts and feelings, they are not a concrete reality.

Do some Kegels: use the Kegel exercise to distract your mind from your negative wandering and enter your body. Often, the difficulty involved in squeezing the pelvic floor is enough to prevent your mind from having many other thoughts.

Remember to breathe: practice feeling breathing when you have sex. Take 2 deep breaths. Focus on that feeling for a second or two, instead of negative thoughts. Daily meditation can help teach you this in less stressful circumstances.

Focus on your partner. Pay attention to how your body turns on it. Observe how you get more and more excited; observe your pleasure to be with you. Recognize the physical evidence that he finds you desirable.

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