Let them see the real youDave Smith
When someone catches your eye, you can try to get their attention by playing your physical attributes or activating the charm. A shy look A hand for your hair. A tempting smile. If they respond with interest, they can reveal more of their true selves with some honest “knowing you” conversations. Or you may feel that you should concentrate on looking good, trying to attract and catch this new love interest. But what is the best approach: be honest and open, or work to catch it?
There is something to say about the initial emotion of a new relationship and wanting to look and be your best. But being cunning and generating a false sense of emotion and intrigue around who you are creates an unstable base. You may feel good about “getting a good catch,” but then what? Continue pretending to be someone you are not? Instead, you may want to be genuinely yourself from the beginning.
There are many reasons to be the “true” you:
Being yourself feels good. You can feel an increase in positive feelings about yourself simply by focusing on what it does to you. That’s because thinking about this connects you with your authentic being. In addition, acting in a way that is consistent with your inner sense of yourself is even more valuable. Playing games, on the other hand, can reinforce the feeling that you are not good enough.
Being you opens the possibility of being loved. When you share your genuine being with someone else and respond with interest and attraction, it can be intoxicating! As your relationship deepens, you will feel loved by the “true” you, not by any image you have been projecting.
Being you includes protecting yourself. When you are honest with yourself when you meet someone, you will be aware of the vulnerability of your deepest relationship. Pay attention to that feeling. Go slowly opening up, sharing little by little. See how your appointment responds. Consider what you are learning about them. Sharing your inner being is always a risk, but moving cautiously will allow you to protect yourself from pain and at the same time build a closer relationship.
Being yourself includes respecting your own needs. It’s easy to get caught in wanting to please someone who appeals to you. However, it is equally important to consider whether the person you are dating has really the qualities you want in a partner. So spend some time exploring what will really satisfy you in a long-term relationship.
Sharing the internal can be scary, especially if you have established a pattern of putting what you think is your “best face.” But when you are truly genuine in a relationship, not only playing the role of what you think someone wants, you open the door to establish a deep and lasting connection.
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