What Female Thinking and About Sex?Dave Smith
Many women consider sex to be the deepest form of love and connection, and many women have a very sexual orientation.
Sex begins in the mind. Men often feel disappointed that she doesn’t crave him in her body as much as he does. But your body is very different hormonally. Testosterone causes physiological desire in both sexes, but to varying degrees: proportionally, the male hormonal impulse is a loud cry and hers is an occasional whisper. For her, it is the fantasy, the memory and the imagination of hot sex that accelerates her engine.
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Sex is about being desired. Sex researcher Jolly says that “to be desired is orgasm” for women. While seeing an attractive man can cause a small increase in emotion in a woman, it is the thought of his reaction to her: “I wonder if he thinks I’m hot?” Which strikes his brain like lightning? Knowing that your man is hungry for her attracts her imagination and ignites sensual thoughts in the brain (see above!).
Sex is a mixed bag. Most women love sex, but desire can easily be diverted by tiredness, resentment and the physiological problems of pain and menopause. Women often come to bed willing to have a good experience, but they still do not want and long to have sex until they get excited. And sometimes reaching the peak of arousal can be a rugged ascent (for most women it can take up to 45 minutes). Experiencing regular orgasms is not as easy for women as it is for men, but it is necessary for continuous desire. So, while men love variety, women may prefer a tried and true position or routine because there is more guarantee for their pleasure that allows them to relax in the moment.
Sex is contextual. While many women learn orgasm through self-stimulation, there is also a large proportion that begins their sex life within a relationship or connection. The first time they are touched intimately can be by another person, while almost all men begin their sexual life with masturbation. To feel sexual desire is, in essence, the crudest form of vulnerability: to want our lover to touch us and give us pleasure is to experience the need. Often, the ups and downs of relationships cause women to withdraw desire and protect their hearts in a way that men cannot, and cannot, give strength to their biological impulse. Your need to feel emotionally safe before the sexual moment cannot be overstated. Romance and seduction are ways in which both men and women can co-create a context for sex that helps them separate from the concerns of their day and their mental checklist of things to do and takes them to a place of vulnerability.
Sex is an aspect of love. Sex, talking, hanging out, working together, managing a home and a family as a team, celebrating parties, giving and receiving gifts and affection can be love for a woman: Making love can flow from the heat you feel in the relationship, but it is not necessarily the source of heat.
Both men and women need to feel deeply attached to their partner for happiness. But often our starting point is different. Emotional intimacy combined with sexual intimacy is the combination that creates a passionate marriage or association.
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