You Are Increase Happiness By Avoid Emotional Pain?Dave Smith
People enter therapy because, in some way, they are suffering. Whatever the details of their situation, most patients are struggling with at least one major problem: avoidance. When people try to avoid their struggles and pain, they also avoid their own experience, and this creates more problems and unhappiness.
People often do not even realize when they are actively avoiding certain feelings or experiences. Some signs that you might be avoiding are:
You say, “I don’t know” much. If you often can’t say what you feel, then you may be chronically avoiding your emotions. This can keep you “safe” from painful emotions, but often you can also feel emotionally disconnected, numb, or confused. (You may also receive comments from others that you seem hostile or angry even if you don’t consider yourself angry.)
Their conversations frequently roam between topics, especially when those topics involve personal problems or dilemmas. People close to you can express your frustration at not being able to talk about particular difficult topics (or any other). You may experience a feeling of feeling lost in conversations, or even unable to think hard in certain situations.
You have a limited range of emotions. You may notice that while you do not feel many negative emotions, you also do not feel positive emotions. You may (or may not) be aware of limiting your happiness to protect yourself from the pain you expect when that happiness ends.
You are chronically bored. Many people try to avoid possible pain by limiting their interests and activities. This extinguishes your vital energy. As a result, they are not involved or interested in anything. If your efforts to avoid pain cause you more involuntary suffering, it may be time to begin accepting your anguish.
You can find help in a type of therapy called “acceptance and commitment therapy” (ACT), which focuses on helping people accept their experiences. For example, you could accept that your partner has ended your relationship even though it bothers you desperately. Then, instead of continuing to harass your ex, you allow yourself to sadden the relationship and find a new partner.
To feel inner peace and happiness, you must make peace with your personal experiences. While everyone, on occasion, feels the need to temporarily distract from a distressing issue or repress a particularly painful emotion, if you continually use avoidance as a basic way of facing life’s difficulties, you will inevitably experience other problems.
Tags: Self-improvement, avoidance, avoiding, emotional pain, emotional wellness, relationships