Make love self before you love others

Although conventional wisdom says yes, the real answer is much more complicated.

When he accepts and loves himself, he does not need the approval or love of another person, and he is likely to believe that he will find someone he will love and love. So, a bad date or rejection feels more like a detour on the road to a happy relationship than an overwhelming failure. His self-acceptance and positive outlook allow him to be relatively open in relationships and agree to be alone. In general, this perspective means that when you feel a connection, it is genuine, not blindly driven by an overwhelming need for acceptance or love.

On the other hand, if you don’t love yourself, if you are critical and unacceptable with yourself, you probably find it hard to believe that other people can really accept and love you. By feeling defective, you can create distance between yourself and others to avoid rejection. Or, you can do everything possible to gain acceptance and create closeness, even if that means hiding behind a facade. (Of course, doing this prevents you from really getting close, but that’s not how it feels at the moment). In addition, your anxieties and fears can cloud your thinking about someone, which leads you to overlook their defects and exaggerate their positive traits. As a result of your general feeling of feeling inadequate or unworthy, you will find it more difficult to establish a genuine connection and build an intimate and healthy relationship.

Despite doubting yourself, you can believe, or at least consider believing, the positive perceptions of someone else about you: the real you, not just your facade. You can also see the other person clearly enough to make a real connection with them. In the course of a relationship, your partner’s unconditional love can help you overcome your insecurities. You can also replace the idealized version of your partner with a real one, seeing them as a faulty person like the rest of us mortals, and still loving them, or maybe loving them even more.

In fact, he is a rather rare person who loves every aspect of himself all the time. Living life means growing and changing. Hopefully, as you and your relationship mature, you will become a more self-accepting version of yourself, and your relationship will grow in love and happiness.

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